Melinda French Gates Shares Parenting Lesson She Wants to Pass Down to Daughter

Melinda French Gates is sharing the lessons she’s learned as a parent with her daughter.

In an excerpt from her book The Next Day shared with TIME, the philanthropist, 60, spoke about how her life was forever altered after she became a mom to her daughter Jennifer, now 28. French Gates’ oldest child went on to welcome her own daughters — Leila, 2, and Mia, 5 months — with husband Nayel Nasser.

As she wrote at length about discovering what it means to be a “good enough” parent, French Gates directly addressed her daughter and said there’s one thing she wants her to remember now that she’s a mom.

“Whatever this journey brings you, Jenn, I hope you will remember, my love — for your sake and your children’s — that exactly who you are is exactly what they need, and that even more important than giving them everything is trusting yourself to know that you are already enough,” French Gates wrote. “So much more than enough.”

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“And to any other parent who is reading this, know that this is every bit as true for you,” she continued. “When it comes to taking care of your family — some of the most important work you’ll do in this world — I hope you’ll refuse to let perfectionism rob family life of precious joy. Allow yourself, too, to feel the ease of letting go.”

Elsewhere in her memoir, French Gates candidly reflects on the many twists and turns that she’s faced throughout her life. The author, who welcomed her first child in her early 30s, noted that one thing she didn’t anticipate at this stage in her life was becoming a grandmother before turning 60.

“During this season, I’ve seen my life change in ways I hoped for, ways I fought against, and ways I never could have imagined,” she writes in her book, which hits shelves on April 15. “At 58, much earlier in life than I expected, I became a grandmother.” 

Despite her surprise, the proud mom of three, who shares her son Rory, 25, and daughters Phoebe, 22, and Jennifer with ex-husband Bill Gates, embraced the grandmother role with open arms.

French Gates told PEOPLE in an exclusive interview that she had “no idea” how “wonderful” it would be to become a grandparent.

“Any time I get to spend with these two little girls is just a delight,” she said, adding that she will be with them for a beach vacation soon. “I beam thinking about it, like, ‘Oh, I’m going to get to be on the beach with those little girls.’ And, all that requires, the little sun hat and everything else, [like] the splashing in the water, but it’s delightful.”

During the interview, French Gates, who prefers to be called “Nonna” by her granddaughters, also shared the moments she loves most as a grandmother.

“It’s a delight to be able to hold and snuggle a baby again,” she said, referring to the newest addition. “Or in Leila’s case, she loves to run around. She loves to jump on a trampoline when you can find one. She likes to be on a little play set.”

“It’s so fun to just kick off your shoes and run after her in the yard,” she added.

The Next Day is available for preorder now.