‘I Don’t Know What I’m Doing Right Now’

Tori Spelling is getting candid about doing life and motherhood alone.

During part 2 of her sitdown with Aubrey O’Day on her misSPELLING podcast, the podcast host, 51, broke down as she opened up about being a single mom to her five children: Liam, 18, Stella, 16, Hattie, 13, Finn, 12, and Beau, 8.

The topic of conversation came up as Spelling discussed talking about her “very odd relationship with men” with a new therapist.

“I’m now 51 and single again with five kids, so I don’t even know where I stand in the future,” said Spelling.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 alum officially filed for divorce from Dean McDermott after 18 years of marriage in March 2024, citing irreconcilable differences as the reason behind their split. The date of separation was listed as June 17, 2023, the same day that McDermott announced on Instagram that they had decided to go their separate ways, but later deleted.

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After telling O’Day she is not on dating sites, Spelling admitted, “I don’t want to be with somebody, but I do want to be. I just don’t want to be alone.”

Once O’Day shared that she felt the same way, Spelling began to cry. “You know me. I’m positive. I just — I don’t want to die alone,” she admitted.

“You’re not going to die alone. I’m here. First of all. Listen to me,” O’Day reassured Spelling, to which she responded, “I don’t know what I’m doing right now.”

As O’Day hugged Spelling, she told her, “We’re not alone. We have each other. There are other people that have our backs too. We’re not alone. We just have to believe that first.”

“Such a f—– up life, all of this shit,” Spelling said, referring to she and O’Day as “strong” people.

“They should sample my DNA when they f—— go to the next world war. Whatever the f— I am, I’m resilient, but what does it mean at the end of the day?,” said Spelling.

Last month, Spelling admitted to PEOPLE that she struggles with confidence. She noted that she tells her children they’re “worth anything and everything” without genuinely believing it about herself.

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“It’s something I’m definitely still working on. I think people assume when you’re in this business, you’re an actor and you’re famous and you speak [that] you’re so confident,” she said. ‘I’ve had a lack of confidence my entire life and I never felt worthy enough.”